Shits with a Slight Chance of Giggles

I told my students today that they were all sheep, almost simultaneously they all baa’d in response, “no we’re not!” I asked them to explain to me in what way they weren’t mindless animals and they proceeded to tell me about their personal experiences. Unsurprisingly, after we went through four different scenarios these teens realized that they all pretty much had a collective dismal feeling, regardless of the details pertaining to their individual perils. I understood at that moment that the comment that I intended to be an insult afforded me an opportunity to engage my students and assure them that despite their differences, they were empirically not alone in their struggles but I berated them for listening to shitty music and dressing all alike instead.

I could blame my ageism for not helping them but really it’s my lethargic impersonal engagement tatics that never exceed past a student-teacher relationship. I’m finding (much accredited to my ageism) that the youth, nowadays, aren’t really worth the extension of kindness. Let’s face it, kids today live in a world where, literally, anything is possible to which I implore to many a student that “ANYTHING CAN BE ACHIEVED!” but no, it’s far cooler to have bad grades and knock up your 13 year old girlfriend which I completely abscond concern to. I fantasize that my kids are aspiring historical Purists commited to reliving second century Rome, emulating a population of a lower working class supporting a aristocracy, or in this case, capitalist graphic tee company that prints snarky tee shirts and wallets for these students to waste their parent’s hard earned cash on.

To the four “emo” students I have, I advised that they should share quotes from their “feeling” dairies to each other and possibly be alone together but no apparently two boys can’t be friends and not keep their dicks out of each other as I was told by these: make up wearing, tight jeaned, sensitive souls that my idea was too “gay”. I wrote resumes for my students and scheduled interviews at local fast food joints and movie theaters knowing that these places have the propensity to hire felons, as many of my students are. Alas, my students declined the interviews because the theater and fast food industry wasn’t a suitable “first job" environment. Obviously my job’s social demography adheres to particular mindset where education isn’t really valued but I’m not too upset because I get my revenge by selling the really bad ones to gypsies.

Green Ranger out