Like you, I live an uninteresting life sprinkled with fits of inspiration and sporadic moments of mild criminal hijinks. My nights are spent mostly trying to convince myself to not debase my weakening moral core and drink myself into adventures. In these transcendental dilemmas I often read on what others are doing to combat the same issues and I find myself almost always, chalking up points to do whatever the hell I feel like doing. Although there might be a howtoliverighteously.com out there I’m way too lazy (ahem*) preoccupied to look it up and take notes. I do things the hard way and look for wisdom in blogs, news articles or through conversing with other deviants and wander through life on aimless recommendations. This has brought me to the recommendation to listen to Tila Tequila’s "SUMMERTIME HAS GONE AWAY". Oh how I’d love to write something witty and spiteful about this song but I can’t get past 29 seconds. I listen to it to remind myself why people hurt other people and to tense my supraspinatus to an ass clinching point of uneasiness that can only be described in the feeling of when you’ve witnessed someone getting slapped in public. Surprisingly, I become speechless in those few seconds wondering if some weird joke has been played on me as if “comedian” Jamie Kennedy jumped out from my closet and screamed, “You’ve been X’d!” Yes…that show was on television when I decided to stop watching television and, I know, he was funny in the first Harold and Kumar movie but my insatiable dark comedic thirsts demand more. I think I know what you’re saying America, in assuming that we know each other, you may be asking, “Why bother listening to Tila when you could be looking at her?” and you’re right; Tila’s fame wasn’t based on her music inabilities and far be it for myself, unpopular and talentless, to complain but I do have an observation. From what I understand, fame is subjective and by my mixed up perception of fame: fame is when you’re mere presence is enough to provoke revenue and the interest of the masses in what could be summed up by what I could imagine of what it would be like to be insanely attractive however, in this misogynistic society, the goods eventually have to be exchanged for currency. You can’t tell me that my best friend Tila hasn’t visited the bone zone to get what she has and that’s totally cool (and American!) but average shmucks like you and I have got to have the coin or the endowment of a gorilla to peak behind those drapes. Until then, we get to settle for little snippits of near nude swimsuit pics and heartfelt ballads which, to me, inspire the want to die early. I understand a person’s interest in wanting to see seductive photos and a chance glimpse of a vulva with a very good likelihood of more mileage than a rental car but why bother when there’s perfectly good nudity on countless websites…well except hers so hers so subtract one.
-Green Ranger
